LornaI remember one particular Mother’s Day. I had young kids and felt overwhelmed and very tired. At church, my children colored a gift tag and put together a little gift for me. After church, my children each brought me a little gift that they had put together at church for me, a bag filled with breakfast-in-bed type snacks. As they gave me the gifts they each asked if they could have something that was inside the bag they had just given me. I felt hurt, disrespected, unappreciated, and mad. I’m pretty sure I burst out into tears.
My hubby has tried to make Mother’s Day special for me. Especially after that one. But no matter what he did or does, if I’m feeling sad and grumpy about Mother’s Day it’s not a very fun day for me. I get to decide if it’ll be a nice day or a hard day no matter what he or anyone else does.
Looking back, I can see how young kids would be so excited for muffins, juice boxes, and string cheese (things we didn’t have very often), of course they wanted some. But in that moment, I felt like I must be a failure as a parent because they couldn’t give something without receiving something in return on this one holiday a year celebrating mothers.
Children, especially young children, don’t really understand that Mother’s Day is a sacred day. 😉 They should act like perfect angels, not fight or argue with siblings, be obedient, give gifts to mom, shower her with hugs and kisses all day long, play games with her, prepare food for her, and clean up after themselves because that is how moms know they love her. Right?! Wrong.
Moms can have a nice Mother’s Day even if they don’t have perfect kids. I have decided to celebrate being a mom on Mother’s Day rather than being critical of the imperfect mom I am. I choose to think about how much I love and appreciate my children on Mother’s Day. That feels so good to me! I would encourage you to do the same.
Here are other ideas you could try to make it special:
-You can have a conversation with your family before Sunday about what you’d like to do or eat. (Gretchen Ruben says, “Be full of desire and easy to please.” This can mean to offer ideas and requests but don’t tie your happiness to them complying to everything you want.)
-You could buy easy or already prepared food (like cereal, lasagna, pie, etc) if you will be in charge of the meals.
-On Sunday, you could invite each child to spend one on one time with you doing something you enjoy or they enjoy or both.
-You could ask a child to do your nails, if that’s fun for you and them.
-You can write and send letters/emails to mother figures in your own life.
-You could visit women you admire. You could take flowers or a treat.
-You could invite adult children to your home for a meal that day.
-If your adult children don’t usually call you, you can call them and express your love to them and appreciation for being their mother. (Not to guilt trip them for not calling, just to express love and support for them.)
There are lots of things you could do to enjoy the day. For me, I enjoy connecting, so going for a walk, playing games, eating together and chatting are on the top of my list. I invite my family to join me. Sometimes it’s a whole family affair and sometimes an activity is just two or three of us.
This year will look a little differently at my house. My hubby planned a trip with our son in conjunction with a business meeting he needs to attend without realizing it was over Mother’s Day weekend. He was shocked and sad when he made the connection with the dates, he felt horrible. I felt sad and hurt for a time, too. Then I decided to make the most of it. I requested we play games as a family last Sunday because the guys wouldn’t be around this weekend. I planned a girls day with my daughters on Saturday, including pedicures, lunch and a movie. I asked my girls if it would be fun for them if we all worked together to make crepes for lunch after church. Crepes are a special occasion food at our house and we all love them. They said yes! I’ll be picking up groceries for an easy dinner as well.
Decide to have a nice Mother’s Day beforehand. Mother’s Day is what we make of it. Happy Celebrating!
If you are struggling with how to make the day special, let me know and I can help you.